“I was in active labor, pushing a tiny human being from my body, when a well-meaning medical student asked me if I had any history of sexual activity.”

“I worked in a prison and our ‘sexual history’ question gets a little more in-depth. However, my favorite answer of all time followed the question “Have you ever used drugs or illicit substances?” To which the inmate responded No, he had never. Then the sexual history question came up and he said “Well I snorted coke off a hooker, but I didn’t fuck her so does that count?” We had to restart the questionnaire.”

“When I was thirteen I responded "yes" when the nurse asked me if I was sexually active. She then asked when was the last time I had sex to which I uncomfortably answered that I have never had sex. I thought masturbation counted.”

‘As a Med student in an std clinic in Miami I asked a lady how many sexual partners she had. “Honey, I get paid to fuck. I got no clue.” She got all the antibiotics.’ Dan-z-man “I signed in a sixteen-year-old girl who told the doctor “I can’t be in labor–I’ve never had sex” as she gives her Dad a “please don’t kill me” look. Ah, family moments.”

‘I worked in a medical call center and had to survey patients taking certain drugs. We asked if they were sexually active (company was worried about libido-inhibiting side effects).Best answer I heard was “Yes, but don’t tell my spouse.”’

‘As a Med student in an std clinic in Miami I asked a lady how many sexual partners she had. “Honey, I get paid to fuck. I got no clue.” She got all the antibiotics.’

‘I was a medical assistant working for a dermatology office. A 65-year-old man came in with an abundance of genital warts and said “I kept sleeping with that same dirty woman. That’s why I got these things.”’